NUMBERED DAYS

My days are numbered

      or so it seems

From maniacal days

      to horrific dreams

How long am I expected

      to continue this life

I'm but a shell of myself

      my soul filled with strife

My mind is quickly going

      or perhaps already gone

I feel my life and soul

      being pulled and drawn

Life after life - or death as it's called

      seems so much better

I'm the one that is forced to "live"

      secluded from the world in a cloister

How do I love the ones I don't know

      or not fear "strangers" I've known for years

I would be better remembered as I was

      by my family, friends, and peers

Death will not come today

      nor in the real near future

When I choose the time, and I will

      I will have a peaceful departure

Don't cry or mourn for me too long

      remember life has no end

I'll simply slip to another place

      reuniting with family and friends

I've lived my life and fought the fight

      it's not the years but the miles

One shit sundae after another

      let me roam in The Heavens' Aisles

      ~Gaylene

This one is very new, just written yesterday in fact.  It comes from the deepest parts of my soul - my very being.  From the Bi-Polar roller coaster to the Alzheimer's, and everything in between, sometimes it just seems like more than I can OR SHOULD have to live with.  When I get to the the point where I don't remember the names of my grandchildren, and my children and loved ones become strangers that I don't remember, it will be too much for me.  How do I convince a grandchild that I love them even though I don't remember who they are, and with my fear of strangers, panicking every time I see a "stranger" isn't how I'm going to be willing to live, so I'm not going to let it get to that point. I've got time, months or maybe even years, so don't start bidding on my possessions just yet  ~:o}