CHEMICAL LOBOTOMY

My doctors have prescribed for me

A chemical lobotomy

To take away the pain and fears

That have plagued me for so many years

When I go into a rage or panic

Two little pills will do the trick

These same two stop and block my dreams

So I don't wake to fits and screams

Another pill will mute the voices

That make me think I have no choices

But to pull my hair, cut, and burn my skin

One more to fight the voices within

Two to level the roller coaster ride

Of two moods and two sides

I often wonder which is worse

The so called illness or the cures

My mind is taken away from me

Just memories of who I used to be

Flashbacks in time run through my brain

But here and now briefly remain

Someone helps with street crossing

Another takes me grocery shopping

When I go for a walk, wander, and roam

A special dog will find my way home

There's a problem if I walk too much

My feet cramp and burn with the slightest touch

There is no pill or cure for this pain

So I illegally smoke and my consciousness drain

If this drug was one they could dispense

My doctors would give it without hesitance

Epilepsy and various other ills

Provide another handful of pills

When the cures and diagnoses have taken me

I will simply no longer want to be

Through the mercies of the gods or my own hand

I'll exit this life for one more grand

This solution that to me seems most kind

For myself and those I've left behind

Of all the things I've ever lost

My mind has has been the greatest cost

~Gaylene

I wrote this one a few weeks back, after thinking about the 17 different medications my doctors have me on for various reasons. Some of them are to counteract side affects of other meds, and others are for their own purposes. The biggest bitch of all of it is I just found out that the Dr. who diagnosed me with dementia (which lead to the Alzheimer's diagnosis) SIX MONTHS ago, also prescribed a medication to take daily that I just found out a couple days ago isn't supposed to be taken regularly for more than THIRTY DAYS, or it can cause IRREVERSIBLE confusion, coordination problems, and memory loss.  Great job doc!!